In one week I have  

i.              come down with fever

ii.            blacked out thrice and fainted twice

iii.           uprooted my toe nail and kept bleeding till I slept off and the blood coagulated sealing the wound. Something like that.

iv.           blacked out in the washroom and fallen on my ass twice and almost sprained my ankle

v.             suffered from extreme dizziness and nausea caused by extremely low blood pressure

vi.           been scratched by a mad woman in the local

vii.          narrowly escaped getting stung by a scorpion

viii.         gotten into two huge fights with one friend

ix.           watched people cope with bad breakup induced depression

x.            struggled to find words to comfort a nineteen year old broken heart while remembering a time when I was nineteen and heartbreaks were a dime a dozen and always swept under the rug lest people found out and laughed   

xi.           watched a friend deal with brain tumor and homophobic parents while doing little more than standing back and well, offering some well-meant, but clichéd and tired words of comfort over the phone from office at 10 in the night

xii.         lived on only cold soggy Maggi and Dunhill Switch

xiii.        met parents splitting up with kids left to deal with the situation on their own

xiv.        argued with roommate who came down with viral trying to get her to do the whole steam-Vicks-Crocin thing  

xv.          dealt with clients making your life look like a ppt on How-to-spot-the-workaholic

xvi.        realized my father is growing old and I have not seen him in seven months and that these days the only words I speak to him are “Had dinner? Yeah even I had. Going to sleep now. Good night.” while struggling with a broken umbrella in Lower Parel station

xvii.       spoken to journalists abusing me in a language I do not speak and hence could not salvage the situation

xviii.      effectively ended a not-so-long but very intense friendship and did not have the time to give a fuck about it

xix.        realized one never really completely stops being sixteen; one simply learns to ignore and never talk about it

xx.         cried only once when Gandalf the Grey fell into the abyss in the Mines of Moria

I think I wanna go to Israel now.